I just turned 50 years old a couple of months ago. It’s very embarrassing being this age and still not at a place where I feel I should be in my life and career.
Especially the career. As much as I love the thought of having an opportunity to catch up with former co-workers that I worked with in the early years of my IT journey, at the same time I do not want to talk to them at all because of my career situation being so embarrassing, and it just highlights how much of a failure I am. Not to mention, there they are, all accomplished and confident, why would they want to talk to someone who is insecure and traumatized and a complete fucking mess who apparently didn’t do well for himself? All of them are accomplished system administrators of some sort now, and here I am, still just a tech support rep, despite having several years of experience as a system administrator across multiple platforms.
Yes, here I am, still stuck in a situation that I cannot easily escape without seriously affecting my quality of life. Yet remaining in this situation is slowly killing me.